Harvard Law School ate my puppy this afternoon. Yes, ma’am it did. Now, Harvard Law School being an inanimate object, you wouldn’t think this was possible. But there I was, sitting in my living room reading when Harvard ate my puppy.
Okay, let me explain. I’ve been seriously contemplating getting a Shiba Inu. See the above examples of amazing cuteness. They’re little (e.g. okay for apartment living), they’re independent (e.g. no separation anxiety when I have to work), they’re muscular (e.g. not embarrassing fru-fru little dogs), and they’re adorable. I’m moving into a new apartment in March and have been looking for a place near affordable doggy daycare. That’s right, I was seriously contemplating spending $400 / month on doggy daycare.
Then I started reading a book. You know how dangerous books are. This book was particularly dangerous for someone like me. It was the “real life” account of a first year law student from Harvard Law School. The Socratic method, the peer pressure of academic contest, the cryptic professors, the bonds of slavery to academic rigor, the case law, the absorbed sense of purpose… my arm hair was standing on end during the entire thing. And just like that Harvard Law School at my Shiba Inu.
I’ve been trying to talk myself out of law school for a couple of weeks. The ridiculous expense, the time… well, those are the only real drawbacks. And then my boss (well, sort of boss) brought me this book. And I knew I shouldn’t read it. But I did anyway. And I realized that when and if I go to an Ivy League law school, I want to live in the dorms. I want to have the quintessential experience, immerse myself as deeply as possible into the neurotic cesspool of the freshman class. And I can’t have a dog there. So that dream is, once again, on hold. Two days of internet research and emailing with breeders wasted.
Epiphanies of a Mental Channel Surfer
